HOME
by color me free
Summary: in which jyn walks out of scarif and cassian does not. au
1. Chapter 1

_TRIGGER WARNINGS;_

 _mentions of suicide, ptsd, and depression may trigger some readers. i am in no way_ _romanticizing any of these mental heath disorders. read at your own caution._

 _if you are reading this, then thank you! i hope you enjoy it_

 **︎PROLOGUE**

 **JYN ERSO HAD NEVER** expected to live this long. When she was young living in Coruscant, Jyn thought that her life would be as normal and uneventful as it could get. When her mother died and Saw took her in, Jyn knew that her life would be short. As more and more time passed, she realized that she would most likely die during one of Saw's escapades. Ever since he abandoned her, Jyn saw every day she spent alive as punishment.

But what for?

Was it for her father's sins or her own? Was all the things she had done for Saw finally caught up to her?

Oh, but she tried before. She just couldn't seem to die.

But here on Scarif, Jyn knows that she is going to die here. She can hear the whispers of the other side as the world shakes.

Cassian's breaths come in quick gasps, her carrying much of his weight. She mostly keeps her eyes on the light in the distance, swallowing back a gasp when she sees the bodies and the smoke rising from the beaches. She leads him away from the carnage and towards the shore.

Scarif is beautiful. If Jyn made it out of this alive, she would want to live on a planet like this.

The water in the distance looks like it's on fire, and it's calming. The soft crash of waves fills her ears and they stop, looking at the light with wonder, but not with fear.

Cassian's legs give out and he slides to the ground, Jyn following him.

His brown eyes, those eyes that she has been drowning in since they first met are watching looking at her. She sees all the words in them, and she's sure he can see them in hers too. The " _I love you"_ that hangs in the air, unspoken, but still there.

He opens her mouth and she almost braces herself. There isn't time for dwelling on what could have been. He must recognise it, because his next words catch her completely by surprise.

" _Your father would have been proud of you, Jyn."_

Would he? Would Galen be proud of all the things she has done as Jyn Erso, as Liana Hallik, as Tanith Ponta, as Kestrel Dawn, as Lyra Rallik, as Nari McVee?

No, Galen wouldn't be proud of Liana or Tanith or Kestrel or Lyra or even Nari. He would be proud of Jyn.

A smile tugs on her lips and she reaches over to hold Cassian hand. It's calloused from years of fighting and rough, but it is still warm and it is still home.

They look back out at the horizon.

She knows they won't die in vain. The rebels are going to destroy the Death Star.

The light keeps getting closer and closer. Jyn watches it.

She is ready.

She turns to Cassin, trying to memorise his face and take it with her to whatever's next. She wants to kiss him. She wants to say something. Instead she leans forward to wrap her arms around his neck. She feels him relax as he wraps his arms around her shoulder.

The light engulfs them and Jyn closes her eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

**JYN'S EYES FLEW OPEN,** tearing her away from Scarif and Cassian's arms. She frantically looked around before remembering where she was and most importantly, she was alone.

That Cassian was gone.

Jyn slumped back down in the bed. She was stuck in the medbay at Base One, the only person in the medbay and one of the only people who had not been transferred already to the new base on Hoth.

Mothma told her that they would keep her on Yavin IV until her condition was stable. In truth, they had no idea how she was still alive, a question even the best minds in the whole Rebel Alliance could not figure out. Jyn didn't know either. One moment, she was on Scarif in Cassian's arms, the next she was slammed onto the cold floor of a ship. It had been a day, and she still was in shock.

A part of her chose to believe that it was a mistake, that this was just a dream or vision before whatever comes next. Maybe she'll wake up back on Coruscant with her parents scolding her about how late it was when she sneaks outside to find a cookie.

It won't happen, she knows it. It's the only thing that keeps her from going insane in this blank room with only a few machines and full of regret.

-︎-

It's not for several hours until one of the nurses comes back to check on her. They draw blood, check the monitors, sometimes deliver food, and ask her how she is. She grumbles an "okay" each time.

It isn't until the next day that something really happens.

She wakes up to shouting, a lot of it. One of the nurses frantically rushes towards the doors of the medbay, shouting something into a comm.

"What's going on?" Jyn sat up, moving to get out of the bed.

"No, you stay there!" The nurse called over her shoulder. "It's the princess. She's been captured!"

Jyn bolted out of bed, her legs wobbling from not moving in two days. The doors to the medbay flung open as two officers dressed in pilot uniforms rushed in half carrying, half dragging another pilot with them.

"What happened?" The nurse called as she rushed to the pilots.

"Blaster wound, lower abdomen." One of the pilots reported. The two hauled the wounded pilot onto a bed, the nurse booting up the monitors and handing an IV chord to one of the pilots. The third pilot, barely conscious, attempted to swat the chord away. "I'm fine!" She snapped.

"No, you aren't Tadia!" the nurse snapped, fumbling with numbing applicants. The pilot grimaced in pain. "Just get me a goddamn cigarette." She grumbled, laying back and shutting her eyes.

"The rest of you?" The nurse asked. The two other pilots shook their heads. "Just a scratch or two."

"Well, you know where bandages are." The nurse responded, working on Tadia. "And painkillers are over there if you need them."

"Thank you."

"Erso." The nurse said. "Unless you've somehow miraculously healed, you shouldn't be walking."

"I'm fine."

"You're fine when I clear you for field operations, and have I? Not yet. Go sit back down. You may have won the war for us, you deserve the rest." The nurse said before turning back to the half conscious Tadia.

Jyn slid back in bed, her hand unconsciously going up to her neck where the kyber crystal used to hang. It was gone, the crew members on the ship she somehow ended up in didn't find it anywhere, and it was gone when she first woke up in the medbay. It was probably back in Scarif with Baze and Chirrut and K2 and Bodhi and Cassian.

Back where she belonged.

 **{a/n: hey guys! I'm still alive! This was a short and shitty update, i'm sorry for that. Hopefully more coming soon!}**


End file.
